Daylight Savings time has arrived.
In the first few days and weeks after Daylight Savings begins, if you’re a parent, partner, or just a human, you may have started to notice a change in others, and possibly in yourself. (Let’s be honest, if you’re a parent, you more than “notice” a change, you start SURVIVING the effect it has on your kids).
We hear this all around, but the darkening of afternoons at 5pm, early awakenings in the morning, and perhaps an overall feeling of dread going towards another workday in the darkness, then coming home again to darkness, to a cold windy dark night–it affects each of us differently, but meaningfully nonetheless.
The darkness can really affect us, as humans.
The limitations of light and sun exposure can really have an impact on your circadian rhythm which can throw off your body’s energy levels and sleep needs, which are all simply natural environmental changes. If you’re a parent, partner, or maybe just a human person, you may have started to notice a subtle change in response to this environmental change. You might wonder why this happens year after year, you might comment on it, you might complain, or maybe you might just relish the excuse to sleep more. To eat more and hibernate, like our animal friends know how well to do.
Nonetheless during this time, as a therapist, I usually notice an overall trend:
YOU MIGHT NOTICE, LIKE MANY OF MY CLIENTS, YOUR EMOTIONS FEELING SADDER, HEAVIER.
Yes, it may be sleep deprivation, but sleep concerns or disturbances aren’t limited to Daylight Savings. Maybe sadness is just different in November.
With all of this in mind, this time of year I find myself intentionally paying more attention to my own self care and focusing more on my clients’ overall care for themselves.
Checking in with how your foundational self-care is important. Not just your “spa day” kind of self care, like a massage, going to the salon for a mani/pedi, or getting a cup of coffee. But your everyday routine that includes a gentle routine of intentionally parenting oneself.
SEEDS
With my clients, I use the SEEDS acronym, to help with checking in with our self-care:
S- Sleep
How many hours are you getting?
Any difficulties when falling or getting back to sleep?
Nightmares/Dreams?
Do you hit the snooze button too many times because you went to bed too late again?
My Recommendations:
Creating a nighttime wind down routine
Warmth to bring comfort to your body (ie: Chamomile tea, warm bath)
Night-light (or alternatively, a sleep mask to block out light if you have a lot of electronics in your bedroom, or outside streetlights)
Weighted blanket
E- Eating Habits
How many meals are you eating?
Do you eat snacks between meals?
How is your hydration?
What is your relationship with substances, including caffeine, cannabis, or alcohol?
My Recommendations:
Make sure you are eating 3 meals and snacks in between. Regular meals + snacks regulate mood and blood sugar levels
Are you hydrating regularly, do you know your thirsty cues?
Limiting excess energizing substances such as caffeine; What would happen if you decided to replace less natural energy-producing habits with perhaps these ones: going out for a walk, getting sunshine, fresh air, mindful deep breathing, quick cold or hot showers?
E- Exercise—> Movement of the Body
(NOTE: Our practice does not encourage the diet-culture idea of over-exercising to the point of physical injury or self punishment. Instead, we would like to adopt a version of this piece of the SEEDS acronym too -Exercise to mean, “Movement of the Body.”)
Movement of the body for Mental Health and Self Care should not used be for:
NOT for weight control/pounds gained/lost
NOT to reduce a clothing size
NOT for number of calories burned
Instead,
Are you sitting too long or standing too long where it’s causing pain or tension in our bodies? Can you listen to when your body is asking to move? Are you connecting with your body’s physical sensations? Does exercise feel good INSIDE your body, or does it consistently cause pain or intense discomfort? “No pain no gain” is a diet culture myth. Less pain, and more energy means you’re being kind and listening to your body’s exquisite pacing system for more or less movement.
My Recommendations:
Going out to sit/walk in the sun to get Vitamin D and breathe deeply of some fresh air
Getting connected to what your body is telling you; Learning to do a full body scan
Learn to listen to your physical sensations: Is your body telling you that you’re tired, you need sleep, or maybe you’re restless and you might want to use up or power up that energy?
D- Doctor’s Orders/Medications
Do you have a medical diagnosis that you need to keep up with?
When was the last time you had a physical with bloodwork?
When was the last time you visited a dentist?
For people with uteruses, when did you last visit your OB-GYN?
Do you have a primary care doctor? Do you need to make an appointment with a specialist that you’ve been putting off?
Are you taking any over-the-counter or prescribed medication?
When was the last time your medication was assessed?
Helpful Recommendations:
Having consistent, even preventative, annual check-ins with needed doctor’s visits is vitally necessary to support our mental health needs. Without realizing it, you can be low on a specific nutrient or have a vitamin deficiency.
Get back on top of taking your prescribed medications. Not taking your prescribed medications can produce increased symptoms for mental health concerns, or it can simply not adequately treat your mental or physical health concerns.
S- Socialization, Spirituality, Sexuality, BASIC Self-Care
Socialization- Have you connected with any loved ones recently, or does your routine incorporate connecting with loved ones regularly? Do you feel connected while we are interacting with them? Or perhaps you feel detached from them, while interacting with loved ones?
Spirituality- Do you feel connected and supported by your personal faith or community of faith? Or perhaps do you have a spiritual practice that brings you meaning? Or do you wish you had one?
Sexuality- How comfortable are you with our embodied sexual expression and experience? How authentic is your sexuality when connecting with yourself and others?
BASIC Self-Care - This is your “fun” self care. Your basic coffee runs, nails/salon experience, solo golf visit, vacations, etc.
Helpful Recommendations:
Each of these areas for the “S” in SEEDS looks a bit different for each person, so checking in with how each of these feels for you is vital to connecting all other parts of your foundational self-care. Seeds is often a place to start considering your “boring” self care, not just the “fun” kinds of self care.
I’ve added a new part of the last “S” for my clients. Work and Academic life, to include people in the workforce and students. These categories include how self-care can look like at work or in an academic setting as neglecting this part of self care can lead us to depression and burn-out.
Work
How are your “Yes” and “No” Boundaries? Do I say “yes” when I wish I could figure out how to say “no” more?
Are you having an actual lunch break?
Are you arriving late to work or staying at work past your scheduled hours?
Do you enjoy your work? Is this a job I’m working too hard at when I don’t actually want to stay in this career long term? Should you pursue career counseling?
Academic
Am I overextending myself with extracurricular activities? Would my mental health benefit from taking fewer classes?
Do I have time to wind down after school? After work?
Would it be helpful to have a study hall to complete any schoolwork? Or would it be helpful to schedule an hour or two in the week to catch up on work I’ve procrastinated?
One Step at a Time
Going through the SEEDS questions and categories can make many of us feel like we’re not doing enough to take care of ourselves. But the good news is that these are simply starting points. No one is going to have perfect “SEEDS scores” in self care, nor is that the goal. It simply can be a tool to help identify where your mental health energies are being drained, where self-compassion is lacking, or where maybe you USED to take better care of yourself, but perhaps you’ve stopped.
We are all trying to do the best that we can. This is not a checklist of more to-do’s for you. Instead, you can use this SEEDS assessment of your foundational self-care to help you next time you feel dragged down. Instead of just blaming your personality, your crappy job, your parents, perhaps pay attention to how well you actually gently parent yourself. Go to the doctor, go outside, move your body gently, go hang out with friends that make you laugh. And then see if you should quit your job. Or move out of your parents house.
Consistent self care helps improve your relationship with yourself. It takes daily mindful check-ins to connect with your emotions, mind, and body. You can do this independently for yourself, even without therapy. But it can also support and guide you to taking better care for yourself in your therapy sessions.
Even during Daylight Savings time when the energy in the air around you is sadder and slower, your meaning in your life doesn’t need to be sadder or slower. Maybe you should eat a vegetable. Or actually eat an extra cookie. You know who you are. ;)
Lastly, if you’ve read this far, maybe you should consider buying a light therapy lamp.
Warmly,
Inez